(no subject)

[hallavaris]

Being home alone (with cats, so not so alone really) makes one want to write bits and pieces of everyday life even when there is nothing grand or great to tell about. Maybe this is my little link to the outer world. I have been working. Things were not so chaotic anymore today and I'm learning who is who (which is not an easy job when there is 30 children). It's a bit surprising somehow but I seem to remember the boys better than the girls for some reason. It seems there is quite a few very interesting personalities like this one little boy who enlightened me today with a very interesting fact that there is 4 people being born and 2 people dying every second (can it really be?) in this world. That's all he said to me today but it was more interesting than what many people ever say even if they talk all the time. ;)

Last night there was a wonderful thunder storm again. I woke up to this end of the world noise. For an instant I felt as if I was laying out there in the yard and the lightning had just stricken right next to me because the sound went straight through me. Heart beating so fast, all senses suddenly sharp and aching. What a fright! So I stayed up until 2 and watched the lightning show. I was wondering about the connection between migraine and thunder. I find it very interesting.. how the head ache starts even before the lightning does and how similar the migraine visions are to the lightning of the storms. The zik zak pattern of the universe... I was also thinking about trees and lightning..  if you turn a picture of lightning upside down it looks like a tree with all these branches of electricity.. I find such little details about this world & universe very interesting. The fractals and reflections, micro cosmos & macro cosmos, the way things make sense and are above bare sense..

I've spent most of my evenings home on my own lately. It feels good. To do little things. To cook, to create art, to listen to post war Finnish oldies and learn to sing new songs for karaoke and trying not to cry and feel too sad about the sad songs. Reading nice manga (Alichino is very good, beautifully drawn, dark & interesting) and cuddling with the cats. They are very social. Always begging for love and food. I am so happy and thankful for their presence. It fills the place. This home is too big and would feel so empty without my boys. I still haven't got the decision from KELA whether or not I will get the living benefit. I truly hope I will because then I would not need to worry about money. I don't really worry about money now either but it may get a bit tough if there is any unexpected bills.

I got new poetry books from the library today. And Jonas Gardell's "Om Gud" (the Finnish translation). It's always interesting to read about God. I love these silent evenings when I can spend time reading and writing and listening to music. I have different music for the mornings (Cumbias!) and for the evenings (J-rock or female singers) and for the night (Tenhi or yoga chants).

My foot is very sore because two days ago I was wearing shoes without socks and I got nasty blisters. Now it hurts every time I'm wearing any shoes. :(

Comments

[sofisticat.livejournal.com]

I hope we get thunderstorms soon, too. I've been planning to read the Jonas Gardell book, but have so much else to read right now. Please tell me what you think of it.

[tindomerel.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm quite curious about the book. I wanted to read it in swedish but was only able to find the translation. I guess that's ok and I will understand more of it this way..

[pihlajatar.livejournal.com]

Animals really do make a home, methinks. My rabbits are so very dear to me, my worst nightmares these days are about something bad happening to them, which just shows how much I care for them. :) I couldn't imagine my life without their presence, they have their own special kind of energy which calms me down after busy days at work. And it's such a joy to just sit there and watch them doing their rabbity-things... <3

I think your cats appreciate the fact that V. moved out and there's no more fighting.

[tindomerel.livejournal.com]

Yes, I love my boys so much. And I believe they appreciate it. They both liked Viljami a lot but they have not been missing him (=meowing around the flat like something was missing) so I guess they are happy with me.