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The big ceremonial teepee was full of people and I felt like staying at the side, invisible. This time the drumming was accompanied by human voices. Everyone was chanting and making sound, building the communal energy to make it possible to fall into trance and have the visions. First I thought I was not going to get there. I had too many things in my mind, timetables and plans and the lack of question I needed to solve.
But as the sound started to resonate within me I found myself in the desert.
There was sand and there was a sky so full of stars above me. Beautiful dark sky of black velvet. The sand was smooth at times and rough at times and I saw colours; purple and green just like I saw when the healer treated me in June and told me about her visions of sand & desert and my past life as a beduin or something.
I was a beautiful young man, dressed in comfortable clothes and a scarf around my head. I was a son of a wealthy noble man. I was barefooted even if I knew it was dangerous and there was a scorpion on the ground. My reminder of death and the nature of things. Like in that tale about the scorpion and a hare. I experienced some mystical union in the desert. The sky and I were one. And there was a caravan of camels and a handsome young man covered in veils was carried in some kind of chair or carriage. And I fell in love with him because I thought he was the image of God, the sun of my life. It was so sweet and beautiful but it ended soon because I lost him. I was looking for him for the rest of my life. Looking for the image of God and looking for God until they were One. I dedicated my life to it, never got married, never forgot. But I lost him. I tried to ask how did I lose him but the only answer I got was that he vanished. He was not killed, he did not get married. There was no pain like death or jealousy. There was a sadness of the unknown. He vanished and I never knew what happened. I lost him and I was looking for him for the rest of my life under the night sky of the desert..
But as the sound started to resonate within me I found myself in the desert.
There was sand and there was a sky so full of stars above me. Beautiful dark sky of black velvet. The sand was smooth at times and rough at times and I saw colours; purple and green just like I saw when the healer treated me in June and told me about her visions of sand & desert and my past life as a beduin or something.
I was a beautiful young man, dressed in comfortable clothes and a scarf around my head. I was a son of a wealthy noble man. I was barefooted even if I knew it was dangerous and there was a scorpion on the ground. My reminder of death and the nature of things. Like in that tale about the scorpion and a hare. I experienced some mystical union in the desert. The sky and I were one. And there was a caravan of camels and a handsome young man covered in veils was carried in some kind of chair or carriage. And I fell in love with him because I thought he was the image of God, the sun of my life. It was so sweet and beautiful but it ended soon because I lost him. I was looking for him for the rest of my life. Looking for the image of God and looking for God until they were One. I dedicated my life to it, never got married, never forgot. But I lost him. I tried to ask how did I lose him but the only answer I got was that he vanished. He was not killed, he did not get married. There was no pain like death or jealousy. There was a sadness of the unknown. He vanished and I never knew what happened. I lost him and I was looking for him for the rest of my life under the night sky of the desert..
