(no subject)

I've had two really wonderful days that have pretty much restored my faith in life and beauty & goodness. I feel like a winner after all. And I mean, winner from my own weaknesses. I'm really growing more and more fond of the children at the hobby club every day as I get to know them better. They are such sweethearts and it makes me feel so special to be loved back. It fills me with bright joy that makes my heart drip with love and I feel like being kind to everyone and smiling all the time. It really makes a big difference. It is the best feeling in the world, to be able to love and feel kindness. Every time it expands and fills the space like some special blessing, makes me stronger and happier. It is what I want to be. The best of me. Human beings are so interesting. They are capable to such cruelty and such kindness. Interesting forces both of them.. the feeling of power and pain that makes you hurt and hate and destroy and enjoy the pain of others, just because you can. And the amazing loving compassion, the kindness you can show to yourself and others, with no personal gain in mind. Innocent, unconditional kindness, just because you care enough to choose it. It truly makes your heart open up like a lotus flower.

I love autumn. The light is so beautiful. Even if it is not the glory or reds and yellows I am so in love with blues, greys & greens. My cats have been simply adorable lately as well. The work situation is solved for now. I was brave to stand against my boss' & her minions tries of manipulation and falsehood and even if it made me feel weak when facing the negative & difficult situation, later I felt refreshed and gained some respect, from myself and from my boss as well. And the biggest lesson for me was to express my anger and not let it grow into a bigger thing it really is and turn against myself. And after I'm done with it I can find compassion for everyone involved in the situation. I mean my boss & her minion were wrong to behave like that but maybe it is the best they know.. and maybe they learned something as well. I did what I could and it was very difficult and scary for me but I was honest in it and I no longer feel bad.  Maybe it was another storm to clear the air.

I am very happy it is Friday tomorrow. I won't be by the computer much this weekend as I'll be by the sea and visiting suwetar for an early autumn equinox celebration. I am so looking forward to filling myself with the colours, scents, sea breeze and all kinds of things that nourish my soul.